A Barn Too FarBrian and Theresa Puckett seriously need some help with their barn down by the road. Can you believe it only has two sides? Why I bet the wind whips straight through there on a cold January day!
Speaking of winter, I've decided those holiday parades beat the heck out of April's Ladies Driving Day. Those women tried to kill us. Let me tell you how the day proceeded:
Early that Saturday morning Kando, Roller and I were treated like royalty. There were treats, brushing and massaging all around. There were hay bags hanging in the trailer (I guess to camouflage the carts and harnesses up front) so we were excited to be loading into the trailer for what we assumed would be just a continuation of our little fun-filled day.
What a great ride, well...., until Kando got a little nervous. But, we didn't let even that ruin our appetite. Next thing you know we're harnessed and ready to roll.
This will show you what I know, but I thought I was with a great group of guys until they took off through that open-ended barn. I couldn't hesitate or make a plan. I had to walk right through or be left behind. I was half way to the other side when I realized I wasn't on solid flooring anymore. I could see plumb straight through gigantic holes to water underneath and a 40 foot drop to boot. It’s a crying shame that the poor High Point Champion Bosco and his friends have to live here under these conditions. I am thinking about calling the Department of Donkey Services to report this injustice.
With that nightjennet (nightmare) behind me I settled into a ‘walk-somewhere’ pace and made a mental note not to come back this way ever again. I set out to think only pleasant thoughts for the rest of the afternoon.
By the halfway mark of the hike we had seen wild horses run straight at us with only a rock wall to save us, huge deer leaping through the woods, wild turkeys clucking and flapping and a few automobiles. Quite the adventure for six little donkeys and not so bad...but now we had to go back. And the long trip home loomed ominously ahead. By now we were all getting tired. Or, maybe I was the one getting tired.
First off, I didn't know ole Roller had it in him. But he could qualify for the Standardbred Sulky Race of the Year. He passed me neck and neck with a roaring Harley Davidson and Dayle yelling, “STOP.....STOP....STOP!" the whole way. I kid you not. And he’s not even in shape.
Then those ridiculous horses showed up again. What on earth were they lookin' at? Have they never seen such fine equine specimens before? Anyway, about then I realize we are headed back the way we came. What am I going to do? How will I get out of this? I AM NOT going back through that barn. No way, no how! I mean it!!!
One by one my ‘traitor’ friends pass me and walk through that dangerous building. Hermes tried to refuse but he loves and trusts his mom more than I love and trust mine (or he is dumber than a rock). I guess he just didn't see the danger.
Well, my Mom sat patiently; she just let me stand there until the last donkey crossed. Last that is, besides me. Had she forgotten backing is my specialty? Especially, if I think it will get me out of doing what I don't want to do or go where I don't want to go. So, I decided to practice. Mom said the danger was in the road and I wholeheartedly disagreed. The danger was right in front of me. I could see the forty foot drop. I could hear the torrential roaring water. It was screaming, “Death trap!”
The other moms were hollering all sorts of ideas and I was mentally fending them off before Mom could try them. She was about to give up. I just know it. But, in her frustration, she changed her mind. I heard her say, "Just go away! I will get him to cross. He is going across."
Well, my Mom sat patiently; she just let me stand there until the last donkey crossed. Last that is, besides me. Had she forgotten backing is my specialty? Especially, if I think it will get me out of doing what I don't want to do or go where I don't want to go. So, I decided to practice. Mom said the danger was in the road and I wholeheartedly disagreed. The danger was right in front of me. I could see the forty foot drop. I could hear the torrential roaring water. It was screaming, “Death trap!”
The other moms were hollering all sorts of ideas and I was mentally fending them off before Mom could try them. She was about to give up. I just know it. But, in her frustration, she changed her mind. I heard her say, "Just go away! I will get him to cross. He is going across."
And, finally there was silence on the other side.
She got out of the cart and turned me around. I thought, "Now we're seein' things my way." But, no! She used my specialty against me. I may never back again. The next thing I know I am in the middle of that barn. Now what am I going to do? She made me stand while she got back into the cart and there I am....10 steps in either direction to get out. I chose to be with my buddies as quickly as I could.
She got out of the cart and turned me around. I thought, "Now we're seein' things my way." But, no! She used my specialty against me. I may never back again. The next thing I know I am in the middle of that barn. Now what am I going to do? She made me stand while she got back into the cart and there I am....10 steps in either direction to get out. I chose to be with my buddies as quickly as I could.
Once on safe ground again I heard Brian, the smart ass of the group say, "You know you should take him right back through." Thankfully, my Mom declined....or so she led me to believe. After we un-harnessed she walked me right back to it and made me go across several times.
Maybe my ‘buddies’ and I will put on a club fund-raiser one day and help the poor Puckett’s finish their little barn soon.
Maybe my ‘buddies’ and I will put on a club fund-raiser one day and help the poor Puckett’s finish their little barn soon.
‘Til Next Time,
Lightfoot Lee
